Re: Getting parents on board

From: Mary Louise Hemmeter
Email: ml.hemmeter@vanderbilt.edu
Date: May 23, 2006

Comments

Hi Cindy:

You might not like my answer to this question. But four year olds are VERY smart. They easily learn what they can do in one setting that they can't do in another. For example, they learn they can get away with things easier with one parent then with another. Having said that, this child can also learn to engage in appropriate behavior at school regardless of what parents are doing at home. You are not likely to change parent behavior. You will be most successful if you really observe his behavior, when it happens, for what purpose, under what conditions etc. Use that information to build supports that will help him be successful. At the time a child engages in a problem behavior, there is a reason..he is mad, he wants something another child has, he wants to play and doesn't know how, he doesn't know what to do, he is bored etc. Once you figure out that reason, you should respond accordingly by teaching him a skill, providing him with feedback, etc. Also, be sure that you are capitalizing on all the times he is not engaging in problem behavior and giving him lots of positive feedback.

Having said all that, I would not give up on the parents. However, if you find something that works at school and you document that, you might be able to convince them to use that strategy at home. Changing parenting behaviors is a difficult task!!!

Mary Louise